25 July 2016

The Ginger

So a weird thing happened... Evan invited Matthew and me over for dinner! {I really wish I could insert emojis for y'all to really feel my mood}

That wouldn't be so weird for anyone else, but we haven't ever been invited over to Evan's house. Matt says it's because the whole house was under construction for a while. {He bought a really old house for practically no money and fixed it up himself.} But I'm assuming it's because of the fact that he knew I wasn't super comfortable around him.

I wasn't going to not go over. Matt has put up with my crazy friends and their crazy men so this was the least I could do. I was super nice to Evan the whole evening. I even made cupcakes! He did an amazing job with the house though. It looks like something you would see in one of those home renovation magazines. 

I was kind of on edge for most of the night. I kept looking around, thinking Carmen was going to pop out from around one of the corners. I'm paranoid, I know. But Evan broke my trust and it takes a lot for me to be able to trust someone again. 

It ended up being a really nice {drama-free} night - which is unusual for us these days. The conversation flowed nicely, and I really started to warm up to Evan. I understand why Matt loves him so much. I asked him why he didn't have a girlfriend and he just laughed. "I have no time." 

"What do you mean? You had time to do all of this amazing work to your house!"

"True." He thought for a bit and continued. "My last relationship was A LOT of work." He looked at Matt and he nodded in agreement. "I'm just not looking for that right now." 

"I guess that's alright." I couldn't argue that. I made a mental note to ask Matt all about that later! I'm such a gossip whore. "Soooo.. what kind of girls do you like?" 

Evan thought for a bit and Matt shot me a look. I knew I was probably over-stepping but I was curious. 

"I like dark features. Curves." He finally said. I thought this was interesting. Evan is pretty pale with strawberry blonde hair. It's more blonde than strawberry but the guys all call him 'The Ginger'.  I would have thought he would go for someone more like Jenn who's fair skinned and blonde. 

"Dark hair, dark eyes and a big butt?" I asked. There was an empty chair between Evan and me, so I slid over to get closer to him. "Like me?"

Evan cleared his throat and Matt smirked. "Umm.. yea.. I guess. I never really.." He looked down not finishing his sentence. 

"Well, if Matthew here ever fucks up... I'll give you a call." I winked at him and his face went beet red. Matt almost fell off of his chair. I was trying to hold back my laughter too but I couldn't anymore.

"Fuck. You guys." Evan got upset for like three minutes, then laughed with us. "Seriously, you're meant for each other." 

I looked over at Matt and smiled. "I know. He's so lucky to have me in his life." And then Matt threw his napkin at me.

We ended up staying for a lot longer than we planned but I wasn't complaining. I know Matt is happy that me and Evan were finally getting along. I never really thought about it from his perspective. It must be difficult when your girlfriend dislikes your best friend. I made a vow to myself to always make more of an effort when it comes to the people in Matt's life. {I'm such a grown up y'all!}

20 July 2016

We Can't Ever Be Mothers

Jenn and me decided to take Soph for a little day trip to Babies R Us this weekend. She's just past her three month mark {she's due mid January}, so we thought it would be fun to take a trip and see what exactly a new mom needs. Jenn has a little bit more knowledge than us though - her sister has a million kids!

We were walking through the aisles, and I was starting to get overwhelmed. I never realized how much crap they try and push on expectant mothers. I voiced my opinion about this too {obvi}. Jenn started to laugh, and agreed. Sophia just stood there. She looked offended, but didn't say anything. Sophia is one of those girls that you just know was born to be a mother. Jenn and me on the other hand...

"What the hell is this thing?" Jenn yelled across the store.

"It's a teething tool." Soph answered back.

"It looks like anal beads to me." I said.

Soph gasped and I quickly covered my mouth. Sometimes I forget when we're in public. I could hear Jenn gasping for air as she laughed hysterically at the other end of the store. There was only one other couple in the store though. The husband {or baby daddy..} looked extremely intrigued, while the wife looked horrified.

"Soph, you better not get those two confused. That poor baby.." She slapped my arm and started to laugh. She's been such a prude since she got married, so it's nice to see her loosen up every once in a while.

We continued looking around, and helped Soph pick out dressers, a crib, change table and a stroller. We didn't buy anything, but we took pictures of what she really likes. When she finds out the gender, it will be a lot easier to narrow down the decisions.

"We can't ever be mothers." Jenn said, as we got in the car.

"Speak for yourself! I'm going to be a great mom."

They both looked at me with that damn look.

I rolled my eyes.. "What did I say now?"

"Since when do you want kids?" Jenn asked.

"Yea.. who are you?" Sophia added.

"Well.. I think Matt and me would make super adorable kids. It would be a shame to the world if we didn't reproduce."

"This is true." Sophia nodded in agreement.

"I guess when you find that one person, you change. I never wanted a boyfriend, and Matt cracked me. I never wanted to get married, and Matt has me agreeing to marry him. I never wanted kids, and now I'm seriously considering it.."

Soph agreed again. Jenn sighed. I felt bad for talking this way in front of her, but she assured me she was okay with it.

"You need to start dating again." Sophia told her. "I have someone I want to set you up with. He's just waiting for you to tell me when you're ready."

"Wait. What? Who?"

"This guy from work." She pulled up his Instagram page and we all narcked him out {so 2016!}. "His name is Mark. He's super cute and super available. He hasn't had a girlfriend for a while, but he's ready to settle down now."

"Oh good. Another one of those guys.. " I could hear Jenn's eyes rolling. Danny was enough for her.

"I think you just need a fuck buddy." I suggested.

Sophia shot me a death stare. "You would think that."

"Well.. I'm not wrong."

"I agree with Tor." Jenn said. "I think I just need someone to help get my mind off things, without the whole 'relationship' thing."

I'm happy Jenn is finally starting to move on. If there's one person in this world that deserves to be happy, it's Jenn. I offered to help her find a man, but she said no. She wants to put herself out there and see what she finds. I couldn't argue with that. I hope she's just guards her heart this time...

18 July 2016

Toronto 101

Hi lovebugs!

This post is going to be a little bit different... I've had endless requests for some information about the city I call home. So I've decided to dedicate this post to the TDot - where to visit, what to do, and so much more!! Think of me as your sassy little tour guide.

First of all, here in Toronto, we like to joke that we only have two seasons - Winter and Construction. It doesn't matter what time of year it is, but you will be stuck in some kind of traffic due to a snow storm or the fact that the snow storms caused 800 pot holes so the roads are closed for maintenance!

We really do have beautiful Summer's though. Today alone it's close to 32 degrees {90F}... perfect beach weather! I put together a list of some places that are definitely a must see when in Toronto, and I hope I included things that interest each and every one of you.w

Toronto Skyline 

1. All The Sights - This includes everything from the very popular to the not so well known.

Casa Loma - So many movies / TV shows filmed here!

2. Culture - Toronto is home to so many different cultures, and each one has their own little neighbourhood. This link breaks them all down... Chinatown is my absolute favorite though!

3. Cultural Food & Drink - Toronto summers are jam packed with cultural food festivals! Almost every weekend is host to something new.

Caribana - I am so in love with their costumes every year! 

4. Food & Drink - In general, Toronto has some pretty bomb places to eat. I'll list a few of my favorites, but there's SO MANY MORE!! 

Pizzeria Libretto {where me and Matt went on our first date}
G For Gelato
Banh Mi Boys
La Carnita
Amsterdam Brew House {right on Lake Ontario}
The 3 Brewers
The Bier Markt
One Eighty {best brunch spot}
Sweet Jesus
O.Noir {I have never actually been here..but maybe you're more brave than me!}

Then, there is always Summerlicious and Winterlicious which is the best invention ever. 

Chicken and Waffles - One Eighty

5. Nightlife - My absolute favorite bars / nightclubs.

Muzik {popular celebrity hang out}
The Citizen
Uniun {for you ravers}
The Thompson Hotel- Rooftop Lounge
El Convento Rico {LGBTQ+ & guaranteed to have the best time ever!!}
The Porch  / Rock N Horse Saloon
Horseshoe Tavern {live bands = amazing}

The famous bull - Rock N Horse Saloon

6. Random things I like to do - My absolute favorite things to do that don't involve eating {LOL}. 
I hope you guys liked this post, and find it super helpful! I could literally have written a book on things to do in Toronto.  Let me know if you have any more questions!

xo Tori w

I Hate You

So Matt ignored me for the rest of the day Thursday. He came home from work late and went straight to the bedroom. I was sitting on the couch, pretending to watch TV and he walked right by me. Not even a hello or anything! I wasn't about to chase him though. You guys made excellent points! I was not in the wrong and I was not going to apologize or let him get away with making me feel like it was.

When I heard him go into the shower, I debated on making my way to the bedroom but I decided it was best that we spend the night apart. I hate sleeping on his couch though, so I text Jenn and told her I was on my way over. I quickly packed up a few things that I would need for work the next day and left Matt a note on the fridge. He missed dinner, so I knew the fridge would be his first stop.

Jenn was waiting for me in the driveway. I put the car in park and grabbed my bag before heading inside. She brought me up to her room and I fell on her bed with a hard sigh.

"What happened?" She asked cautiously.

"He's so stupid sometimes."

"Yea. All men are." Jenn sat beside me. "But what happened tonight?"



"Yea. He completely ignored me. Walked right by me, like I was just part of the furniture."

"I'm confused." Poor Jenn. I always ramble, and she has to put the pieces together.

"Last night we got in a huge fight about Mike. We hooked up when me and Matt we broken up and he freaked. He called me a nympho. Do you believe that shit!!"

"Oh, wow. How did he even find out about Mike?"

"He saw this." I showed her the message between Mike and me. "And he freaked. Like I get it, but we were broken up. With no chance of ever getting together again. I was a free woman!"

"Yea he has no right to even get upset. Why the nympho comment though?"

"Well, apparently, the fact that I like sex makes me a nympho. Am I?"

Jenn started to laugh. "No, Tor. You know what you like and no one can shame you for that. You're a little freaky sometimes. But not a nympho. Plus, you're only freaky with him.. you're loyal. He should praise the sex gods. You guys are equally stubborn though. so one of you is gonna need to crack if you want to resolve this."

"Ugh. I hate my life." I'm so dramatic.

"Shut up. Get some sleep. In the morning we'll deal with life."

And that's exactly what we did. When we woke up, I saw I had gotten a phone call and a text from Matt at around 5 am.


Obviously I answered back like the smart ass I am..


My phone rang. I let it ring. I was not in the mood to deal with him yet.

When I got to work, Matt was in the parking lot. I thought about driving right through and taking the day off, but I knew I had to deal with him. I pulled right up beside him and made him get in the car- there was no way I was having this conversation there.

"Go to Tims." He ordered. I shot him a look and he rolled his eyes. "We both need coffee." He was right.

When we were both partially caffeinated, he started talking. "So.. about the other night.."

I raised my eyebrows, urging him to continue, but he didn't. "We were both wrong."

He looked at me confused. "We were. But I shouldn't have said what I said to you."

"No, you shouldn't have."

"Tor. I feel bad enough. Don't make me feel worse."

"Well, don't say things that you feel bad about saying." I sighed. "I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"Being me..."

"Don't. Do you even know why I got so upset?" I shook my head. "The thought of another man touching you, kissing you, seeing you when you're the most vulnerable, it kills me. That should have been me. I should have never let you get away from me and I did. I made the biggest mistake of my life, I put you in another man's bed."

I hadn't looked at things from Matt's perspective. But I understood where he was coming from - he's very territorial - which is kind of sexy. "That doesn't give you any right to say what you said to me. Why couldn't you just tell me that?"

"I wanted to. But I was so angry at myself and I took it out on you." He let out a shaky breath. "I can't lose you again. When I woke up and you weren't there.. "

"Matthew. I am not going to leave you." I put his hand on my chest. "You have me here. Always. Just watch what comes out of that mouth of yours."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "So we're good?"

"Yea." I nodded.

"Well then you better get to work before Mr. Commisso comes after me."

I laughed. My dad probably would give Matt shit for me being late. I leaned over and gave Matt a kiss. A kiss that we both needed in that moment. "If I was a different girl, I would have cut you off from all of this." I waved my cast up and down my body.

"I think you would suffer from that way more than me."

I punched him in the arm.. again not even a flinch from him.

"Too soon?" He laughed.

"I hate you."

14 July 2016

I Am Not A Nympho

Guys! Matthew and me got into such a huge fight last night. He hasn't spoken to me since and left for work this morning without waking me up or saying goodbye. He did text me good morning though - which means he's still half mad - sometimes I could kick him.

So remember when we broke up and I was all sad and depressed... Well I may have had physical relations with another guy. I only wrote about Dante because I thought that was actually gonna be something, but instead he just ended up being a dud. Anyways, this guy Mike is someone I have known literally forever - him and my brother always played hockey together.

We'd hooked up a few times in our younger years. He was the male version of me. We got along great. We would hook up, stuff our faces with pizza, then head to our respective homes. Neither one of us looking for more, nothing ever got complicated.

Mike decided to take a hockey scholarship at some University in Virginia, so shortly after we graduated high school, he moved away. He ended up getting really badly hurt and hasn't played since, but he decided to make Virginia his new home. He comes home for Christmas every year though, and we usually hook up...

He knew I had a boyfriend, but when Mike heard I was single this past Christmas, he messaged me on Instagram {or slid into my DMs as the kids are saying} and asked to meet up. I didn't even think twice about saying yes. We spent almost the entire week after Christmas together. But it was nothing more than a physical connection, I was still in love with Matt.

Last night, Matt was trying to find someone on my Instagram, and came across the messages between Mike and me. They read:



But let's be real, if I had read something like that on Matt's phone, I would lose my shit. He didn't though, not right away anyways. He asked me who that was and I told him. I'm one hundred percent honest with him at all times.

"So you're telling me this guys just messages you and you went and let him take advantage of you?"

"No. I was angry and hurt after YOU broke up with ME and he provided me with the release that I needed at that moment. I haven't talked to him since... he doesn't even live here."

He stared at me for a really long time. "I'm confused. Weren't we together like the night before."


"So, what? You couldn't have come to me? I could have taken care of you."

"Matthew. We were broken up. We spoke about that the night we hooked up too. We agreed that we wanted different things.. was I the only one paying attention? I was not your responsibility anymore." I started washing the dishes to try and distract myself.

"You didn't waste any time finding someone new though. You can't live without sex can you? You're such a nympho."

"I am not a nympho!" I yelled and pointed my finger in his face. As much as I enjoy sex, and have an abnormally high sex drive, I hate being belittled for it. Do not shame me for who I am. Matt knows this too. So I was extra heated that he would even go there.

We basically argued until I was too tired to deal with him and went to bed. He slept on the couch.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Am I supposed to apologize? We were broken up. We had no intentions of ever getting back together. HE broke up with ME. Ugh. I hate when he won't talk to me either.. which makes me feel like I'm the one in the wrong. But calling me a nympho crossed the line!

11 July 2016

I'm Moving Out

I've decided to let Evan off the hook. I thought long and hard about it, and I am definitely being way too hard on him. He had an immature boy moment, and I need to forgive and forget.

In other news, Chloe had been harassing me to meet up with her and her new man, so I caved. We made plans to meet at a sports bar near her condo - neither one of them drive. {eye roll} I was surprised when we first walked in. Chloe jumped off of her chair and hugged me almost too tight. She gave Matt a hug as well, which was super strange and introduced us to Liam. Liam. Where do I begin.

First of all, he was wearing socks with sandals. They were Adidas slides, but still.

Second of all, he refused to stand up when being introduced to us, which I was always taught was rude.

Third of all, he didn't speak the whole night. He spoke to Chloe, and only Chloe. If Matt asked him a question, Liam looked at Chloe, and she answered for him. What a weirdo!

We tried really hard to be nice in this awkwardness, so we just drank the whole time we were there. We left after about two hours.

When we got to the car I had a text from Chloe.

Thank you so much for coming! Tonight was fun.. let's do it again soon! I miss you <3

I read the text to Matt and he busted out laughing. "How is it possible that we're the most normal couple of all our friends?" 

I thought about it for a second and joined Matt's laughter. He was right. We had a pretty dysfunctional past, but we're way better now. I decided not to respond to Chloe. I couldn't think of a nice way to say "no thanks", so I just threw my phone back in my purse. Plus I was drunk, so..

When we got home, I was extremely horny. I don't know if it was the three beers and six shots that I tossed back, but I wanted Matt. Bad. I started undressing in the kitchen and he looked at me like I had three heads. 

"Are you giving me a signal?" He laughed. 

"Yes, Matthew." I sighed. "We never have sex anymore. We're turning into an old married couple." 


"I'm moving out!" I was slightly tipsy.

"Don't even joke about that."

"Before I lived here, we banged anywhere and everywhere. ALL. THE. TIME." 

"Tor, I just fucked your brains out this morning. Or did you forget your sweaty, naked body shaking underneath mine." Oops.

"That.. that doesn't count." 

"Victoria.." Matt only used my whole name when he was extremely turned on, or extremely angry with me. It took a while for me to process the context this time. He walked over to me and wrapped his arm around the back of my head, pulling me in for a deep kiss. 

When he pulled away, I stumbled and almost fell over. He picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. He put me down and stood behind me, both of us facing the mirror.

"Look in the mirror, Tor."

"I am." I still had an attitude.

He had managed to undress himself somehow. He reached his arms around and caressed my body. He moved his hands lower and I leaned into him. I let out a slight moan and instinctively my eyes closed. He pulled his hands away, and I begged for more.


"Open your eyes, Tor. You're gonna watch me fuck you."

 My eyes almost popped out of my head. He had never been so sexually dominant with me. He continued teasing between my legs, pulling his hands away when he felt me squirm. I already wanted him before he started touching me, but this was pure torture.

"Matt.. please."

Matt pushed me forward and lifted me slightly so that I was at his level. He kept one hand on my breast and the other on my clit and slid himself inside me from behind. I closed my eyes again and he stopped moving.

"Open. Now." This new side of Matt was turning me on even more.

I did as I was told and locked eyes with Matt in the mirror. He started thrusting in and out of me again, not taking his eyes off mine.

"I want you to see what I see when I fuck you."

"Matthew.." I was falling apart.

"I will never not want to do this to you."

I cried out when my orgasm rocked through me. I legit had tears streaming down my face. That was the most erotic thing I think we've ever done.  I felt extremely vulnerable though, so I immediately shut down and pushed him out of me.



"I took that too far, didn't I?"

I sighed, trying to catch my breath. "No. That.. that was amazing. Beyond amazing."

"What happened then?"

"I.. I dunno." I shook my head. "I just felt something weird."

"Open, vulnerable, exposed.."


"That's how I love seeing you." He pulled me tight. "Knowing that you trust me enough to get you there.. it's addicting. Do you know how beautiful you are when you finally let go.."

"Well.." I sat down on the bed.


I started to laugh. Uncontrollably. Alcohol..

"You're psycho sometimes." Matt laughed with me and I pulled him down on top of me.

I completely understand the addiction.

05 July 2016

I Don't Know How To Talk To You

Evan and me were the first ones awake on Saturday morning. I rarely sleep in, especially if I'm in a strange bed. I made myself a cup of coffee and headed to the back porch. I curled up on the large patio chairs and watched the still water. That's my favorite thing to do.  "Are you going to ignore me for the whole weekend?"

"Hi, Evan." I smiled politely.

"You were really quiet yesterday. All good?" He asked. He sat on the chair facing me and seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yea!" I responded as enthusiastically as possible. "This cast is keeping me out of the water though, which is a bummer."

"Ahh, true." Total bro talk. "You're probably going to get a wicked tan line too." He started laughing.

"Mhmm." I already dreaded the tan line that was to come. I took a sip of my coffee and looked at the water again.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" He paused. "Like, between me and you."

I looked back at him and put my cup down. "Look, I like and respect you because you're Matt's friend, but I.. I just don't know how to talk to you." I was 100% honest.


"I'm sorry." I face palmed. "That was too blunt for the morning."

"No, no, I appreciate your honesty." Evan nodded. He was looking down at the floor now. "Can I ask why? I mean, I thought we were cool. If I knew you still had doubts, I would have worked harder to make sure you didn't think of me as some shady fuck." His literal words.

"I don't." I replied quickly. "I just, I don't want to run in to your sister again, and have her know every little detail about me, when I know nothing about her. That was a very unfair advantage."

"Shit Tor, I am so, so, so, sorry about that. I don't even know why I did it. I just hate what a bitch she is, and I wanted her to feel like shit for doing what she did to my Matty." I still giggle when he calls Matt that. "I love him like a brother. You know? She's just a horrible person. My parents really fucked up with her. Thank God they made me perfect." I knew he was looking for a smart ass remark from me, but I just rolled my eyes and laughed. "See, you like me deep down. I can tell."

"I never said I didn't."

"Just please don't punish me for something I did out of pure idiocy."

"I'll think about it."

"I can live with that." He looked around for a bit, but looked unsure of what to do next. He got up to go back inside.

"You don't have to leave."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea." I smiled.

Evan sat back down and looked out at the water. "This is my favorite thing to do."

"Mine too."

"See, we're already bffs."

I looked over at him, and he had the goofiest grin on his face. I burst out laughing and he joined me.

"What the hell could be so funny this early in the morning?"

We turned around to see Danny, half naked, and half asleep, standing in the doorway.

"Nothing." Evan and me said at the same time. I looked at him again and he winked.

We spent the rest of the day on the boat- so I could still be in the water without getting wet! Overall it was a pretty chill weekend. Considering the amount of food and alcohol that was consumed, it was completely drama-free. I was even nice to Paul!

I keep thinking back to mine and Evan's conversation though. Maybe I'm not giving him a fair chance. Am I being too hard on him?

04 July 2016

New Homes and Broken Bones

Soooo.. I convinced Jenn to start a blog!! I had to share mine with her though, which I was less than thrilled to do. Until now, Matt was the only person in my immediate circle that knew about it!! It's called "Jenny Not From The Block" . {She's clearly a lot more creative than I gave her credit for.} I hope you all follow along with her version of our crazy lives! I'm sure she'll be making fun of me on the regular too..

In other news.. Daniel is moving out of our parent's house and I am so proud of him! He's almost 29 years old, so I think he's more than ready for some independence. He's really been living up to the whole 'Italian men don't leave home until they get married' stereotype. I've been helping him look for places near Matt and me- it's nice to have people you know close by. I've also been trying to convince him to go with a two bedroom, just in case I wanna sleep over. Or in case I get mad at Matthew and kick him out, he has someplace to go.. LOL! I could never kick him out of his own home.

We spent all of last weekend looking at buildings in our area, but the only one he liked was in the building attached to ours. They share the lobby and all common areas, but it's two separate towers. It's very modern and has a kind of masculine vibe too. Dark hardwood flooring, white tiles and white cabinets in the kitchen, with dark counter tops. The price is pretty reasonable too... Toronto living is expensive, y'all! But he did agree to it, so we're gonna be neighbours!

Also, I broke my wrist last weekend... hence the late {and short} post. I was trying to hang some planter thingy on the balcony, trying to make it look pretty, and I tumbled right on to the hard concrete floor. Matt gave me shit for trying to balance on a window ledge, but let's be real- he should have been there to catch me!! Anyways, now I'm in a super itchy cast for the next 4-6 weeks. I made the doctor do a white one so that we could paint it like a rainbow for Pride!

I can't even do my hair and makeup! Matt has to help me wash my hair, which is pretty hilarious, and I've just been letting it dry natural - curly with a side of extra frizz. {Adorable, I know!} But it is cute that he's trying to help, even if he does curse through his teeth.

I've been completely useless at work this past week too. I love my job, but sometimes I get so annoyed with people that I need a break. But, I did take almost a week off when Matt and me had strep, so I needed to be in the office this week. Trying to function like a normal human with this damn cast on is next to impossible. Thank goodness it was a four day work week! I love long weekends - especially in the Summer!!

Canada Day was on Friday, so we went up to Matt's cottage with the whole gang. His friends and mine. We ended up being almost 20 people, which I think is the most we've ever been. Needless to say, we were rowdy. I love Matt and Danny's friends though, they're so funny and just genuinely good people to be around. I'm still a little uncomfortable around Evan though. I don't know why, but I just can't warm up to him.

But, I shall continue on all about that in my next post!

Happy 4th to all my Americana's! w
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