29 May 2015

Why I Don't Do Love: Ryan {Part 1}

**Hi guys! I really want to share the story of Ryan with you, because he was a huge part of my life, and a major influence on my emotional troubles.  His story is just way too long for one post, so I'm breaking it down into three posts. Thanks again for all of the love, y'all are the best! xo** 

"the teacher just walked in... he's really young...AND HOT.. I'm so passing this class ;)"

That was the text that I sent both Sophia and Jennifer. They responded with the typical "be good!" or "don't do anything I wouldn't do!", but they weren't exactly the best role models.

Way back in 2012, I had decided to take some night school courses to help me better understand the dynamics of my job. I work in the construction industry, and more times than not, I'm super confused about the way things work. I already had a college education behind me, but I like taking random night classes to keep my mind fresh. {chronic student syndrome} It's weird because when I was in school, I hated it and could not wait to graduate. But now that I had an actual career, I desperately wanted to be back in school.

"Hi everyone, my name is Ryan and I'm going to be your instructor for the next few months. I'm going to call out your names to make sure you are all registered correctly, and in the right class."

Ryan started calling names, and I immediately fell in love with his voice. Not to mention the confidence in his stance as he stood before a class full of 20 men and me. {construction related classes = man central} If I've never told you guys that confidence is a huge turn on for me, it is. Not cockiness though- that shit drives me mental. Anyways, Ryan was / is very, very good looking. I mean, if you're into the whole tall, dark blonde messy hair, hazel eyes and muscular frame kinda man. I totally was. 

"Daniel Lombardi?" 

"Here."

"Justin Mendez?"

"Here."

"Victoria Commisso?" I was too busy admiring the beauty of this man, that I totally missed when he called my name. "Victoria?" Ryan looked right into my eyes, and laughed a little when he saw what I was distracted by. BUSTED. I was the only girl in the class, so pretty hard to miss right? I felt my face heat up and turn red as I finally responded. 

"Oh that's me! I'm here." 

"Yes, yes you are." He looked down and back up at me, then smirked. 

The next few classes went by with little direct conversation between Ryan and me, and I was totally okay with that. But, every time Ryan asked the class a question, or was on a rant about some kind of something, he made it a point to lock eyes with me. The feeling that jolted in my stomach when we made eye contact scared me. I didn't know anything about Ryan, except for the fact that he worked in the trade, and was experienced enough to teach. Oh, and the fact that he was drop dead gorgeous and every time he called my name, I had to catch my breath. 

"Victoria, can I talk to you for a second." I tried to slip out of the class, but he stopped me in the doorway. 


"Shit!" I whispered to myself. "Uh, ya. Sure." I answered {not that I had a choice}

Ryan waited until the class was empty before he spoke. "I was wondering if you were available to help me out with some side work. I know that you're probably really busy, but I could send you the drawings and you can tell me yes or no next class."

Okay, so not the conversation I was expecting. I let out a breath that I was holding and replied. "Uh, ya. Sure."

Ryan laughed to himself. "Is that all you know how to say?"

At that, I blushed. "No, I just wasn't sure why you wanted me to stay. I guess I got a little worried."

"Victoria," he moved closer to me "You're a very smart girl. You will never have to worry about anything in this class. Do you understand me? " I smiled at the compliment but didn't respond. I turned to leave the class but he called out after me. "I wanted to ask you one more thing before you leave."

When I turned back to look at him, and couldn't help but notice the change in his demeanor. The confident man was replaced by someone so timid and unsure. "Would it be okay for me to call you?" I guess it took me a little too long to reply because he started rambling. "If not it's okay, I mean I was just wondering if maybe you thought it was okay but if not, that's okay too."

I put my hand on his arm to quiet him, waiting for him to look me in the eyes again. "Ryan, you can call me."

He smiled and handed me his phone where I input my phone number. The confident Ryan was slowly coming back, and he offered to walk me to my car. Once I was in my car and on my way home, I started reflecting on what had just happened. Not once did I consider it a bad idea to get involved with my teacher.
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28 May 2015

Nutella Makes Everything Better

"Morning, sunshine."

I stumbled in to work two hours late on Tuesday morning, and was greeted by my way too excited co-worker and the most delicious sugar coated treat {total guilty pleasure}. I'm never not late, but usually like 15-20 minutes- not two whole hours!  I didn't even bother answering David is way too chirpy morning voice and headed straight for the Nutella pockets that I know he left on my desk.

"I knew those would put a smile on your face."

I finally looked up and gave him a half smile and waved as I booted up my computer.

"So, are you gonna tell me why you were off yesterday?"

This guy is so annoying and nosy sometimes. I had called in sick on Monday, but I basically spent the whole day watching Netflix, eating leftover pizza and not wearing pants. {obvi} Sometimes you just need a personal day- you know? Anyways, I was not about to tell Dave this.

"I was sick."

"Riiiight." He looked me over in a super creepy way and then turned around to face his computer. "So, how much did you drink Sunday night?"

"Why does everyone assume that I'm hungover when I'm off sick?"

"Probably because 99% of the time, you are." I threw a crumpled paper ball at the back of his head and he laughed.

Dave and I share an office, so we've become super close in the last few years that we've been working together. We know pretty much everything there is to know about each other's lives, other than the super dirty details of course. Dave's a pretty average looking guy. He's 6ft tall, slightly muscular with dark brown hair and the most interesting eye colour I have ever seen {a mixture of blue, grey and green}. Jenn has a total crush on him, and I've been trying to set them up forever, but he just won't listen to me!

"For your information, I didn't even go out this weekend. I was a good girl!"

"Wow. You must have been really sick then." He said with a wink.

I completely ignored his comment and dug right into my Nutella filled piece of heaven. Seriously, you guys if you haven't had a Nutella pocket yet- you must! Just as I took my first bite, my phone buzzed. When I saw Matthew's name I swiped it open to read his text.

"Let's get drinks tonight. We need to talk."

I had been avoiding Matt since my little revelation at girl's night, and I knew he was upset. But the truth is, I had no idea what to say to him, or how to say it, so I just ignored all of his calls and only answered the texts that asked if I was still alive. I knew I had to bite the bullet and talk to him, so I sent him a quick reply.

"Yea, we do."

Dave looked over and concern flashed across his face. "Is everything okay? You just turned white."

"I hope so." Was all I could say before stuffing my face with the rest of the Nutella pockets.
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25 May 2015

Girl's Night

"I knew it! I know you hate the whole I told you so thing... but I did!"

Wednesday night had always been our "girls night". The tradition started years ago, but we lost it as we got older and had more going on in our lives. The only time we got together on a week night was if someone had some good news to celebrate or if one of us was in crisis. According to the girls, my love life is a crisis, so we all met at Jenn's house for some junk food, wine and gossip.

"Chloe shut up for once... Tor, it's not a bad thing to have feelings for this guy." Sophia was always the voice of reason when it came to love and relationships.

"I never said that was a bad thing. It's just a bad thing for me. You guys know my past."

Silence. Not even Chloe had something to say to that.

"Tor, what exactly happened Sunday?" Jenn asked all confused. She was really busy with work and school so I hadn't kept her up to date.

"Well, Chloe and me were discussing the possibility of me liking Matthew, so I had to go see for myself."

"And how exactly did you two boneheads investigate this?" Chloe shot Jenn a dirty look for referring to us as boneheads, while Sophia giggled into her third glass Pinot Grigio.

"Okay, so I told myself that if I could just get in, get it and get out that I was all good." I chugged the rest of my glass and poured another. "I went to his condo, and he buzzed me up right away. He was even waiting for me in the hallway because he was worried that I was in trouble- like how cute is that? Anyways..we talked for a bit, but I had to stick to the plan, you know? I had to have him then and there. So, I did. But Matt knew something was off. He wouldn't let me take control at all! He made it all about me- taking his time, pleasing me, so soft and gentle yet so passionate."

"Woah." Sophia, Jennifer and Chloe said all at once.

"Yea, and he does this eye contact thing that literally rips my soul apart. And you wanna know the kicker- when we finished, I tried to get up to use the washroom, and he wouldn't let me go. It's like he knew my plan all along, you know?"

They nodded in agreement.

"So we ordered pizza and stayed awake all night talking."

"That's why you sounded like a zombie bitch on Monday." Sophia confirmed.

"Ha, yea, you know how I get when I don't sleep. Guys, I really wanted to leave, but I couldn't! I couldn't just leave him. I couldn't just take what I wanted and run. And you wanna know why?! Because what I wanted was him! I want him-" I slapped my hand over my mouth in shock. I can not believe I just said those words out loud.

Sophia clapped her hands together and had an expression like a child at Disney World. "I am so happy for you babe! I don't even know the last time you actually admitted to having feelings for someone. Well not since-"

"Don't even say his name" I cut her off.

I needed to talk to Matt. ASAP.
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22 May 2015

#TORIPROBLEMS

"Hey! Are you home?"

"Yes I am."

"Are you alone?"

"Ya..what's up?"

"I'm outside. Buzz me in."

I drank way too much sangria, so I left my car at Chloe's and called Uber to bring my tipsy ass home. Only, when I got in the car, I gave him an address that wasn't mine. I showed up to Matthew's condo, completely unannounced, and I was really hoping he was alone. I heard the buzz and the door clicked open so made my way inside. 

After the long, and super intense conversation with Chloe about my "feelings", we decided there was only one way for me to know if I really did like Matt. I needed to be with him, and then leave. {"hit it and quit it" as the young me would say} If I could do that, if I could have mind blowing sex with this godly man, and leave- all was good. Matt always wanted to cuddle, and talk about our day, and order me pizza, so I always hung around. Who says no to pizza?! Not this girl!

"Is everything okay?" 

Matt was waiting for me in the hallway. He had the cutest worried expression on his face and I actually started to feel a flutter in my chest. Uh oh. 

"Yea, why wouldn't it be." I lied.

"You never just show up..." Okay, he's mad or maybe confused, I can't even tell anymore.

"Oh. Are you busy? I can leave." I turned to walk away. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. What if I did like him? What the hell was I gonna do then? Could I just walk out on the best sex of my life all because of some uncalled for feelings?

He grabbed my arm and pulled me in close. {damn, I love when he does that} "That's not what I meant, come inside and stop being weird. You're kinda freaking me out."

"Oh relax Matthew." I slapped his chest and followed him inside. 

Matt made me sit while he made me a drink- I guess he could tell I was a little on edge. I curled into a ball and snuggled right into the corner of his L shaped sofa. 

"So, are you going to tell me what's bothering you or not?" Matt handed me my drink and sat beside me on the sofa. He started to put his arm around me, but I pushed it away.

"Nothing is bothering me, I just wanted to see you." I half lied. I really did want to see him. I climbed up on to my knees and straddled him, taking his t-shirt off as I did. He started moving his hands under my dress and up my thigh, so I knew he wasn't going to stop me.

"You drive me absolutely crazy Tori. Do you even know what you do to me?" Matt's voice is such a low growl that I literally wet my pants when he talks to me like this. I grabbed him through his jeans, and right then, I knew exactly what I did to him.

Matt picked me up and threw me down on the couch like a rag doll, and had my dress off in one swift motion. He kneeled on the floor in front of me and lightly kissed his way up my inner thighs, never breaking eye contact. {What is it with this guy and eye contact, sheesh!} As he moved my thong to the side, my breath deepened and by the time I screamed his name, I forgot why I was there.

I moved down to the floor- but before I could return the favor, Matt pinned me down and filled me completely. I ripped my bra off while Matt sucked my bare breast and massaged the other. He moved in and out of me for what felt like hours before we reached our highs together.

We layed there on the floor, a sweaty tangled mess, and that's when I knew- I couldn't just leave.

I pushed him off of me so that I could go to the washroom to freshen up, and he pulled my back into him. "Don't leave Tor. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere." I gave Matt a weak smile and grabbed my phone.

Once I was alone in the washroom, I sent the girls a quick text.

"I'm officially fucked."
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20 May 2015

From Me To You

Hiiiii!

I am so overwhelmed with the traffic flowing through here. I just wanted to give you guys a little heads up on what "Vodka Made Me Do It" is all about. This blog is mostly based on my true life events, although some of it has been changed for publishing purposes. Also, all of the names have been changed because my friends would probably kick my ass if they knew I was writing about them!

I will not setting up a posting schedule, only because I can not commit to specific days and times. {that is so unfair to you guys} BUT I will do my best to have 2-3 posts up every week.

Don't forget to leave a comment and let me know what y'all are thinking. You can also email me vodkatori@gmail.com or tweet me @vodkatori 

xo Tori w
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19 May 2015

On a Sunday

"You up homeboy?" 
"Why are you even awake at this time." 

"Umm it's almost 11... not that early! Plus I miss your face. Let's get lunch... My treat!" 

"I'll be there in an hour."

"I knew you wouldn't say no to food. ;)"

I haven't seen Chloe in almost a month and I was so happy to finally catch up with her. Chloe and me have a very different kind of friendship than most people. We talk pretty much everyday, through text or the odd face time / phone call- but we usually go weeks without seeing each other. It's not that we don't want to see each other, but we work different schedules, and live too far apart to just meet up for a quick coffee. But, when Chloe and me get together- it's a shit show. There's something about that girl that just brings out my inner bad girl {especially when alcohol is involved}. It's probably because she's a lot more immature than the rest of my friends, but sometimes you need that in your life.

I jumped out of bed and got ready as quickly as I could. We've been having amazing weather in Toronto the past few weeks, so I decided on a floral maxi dress with {fake} diamond embellished sandals. I didn't even bother doing my hair- it's naturally curly so a little finger combing and I was out the door.

Once I picked up Chloe, we decided on a patio near her condo. She lives right on the lake so the view is always stunning. The waitress came by and asked us if we wanted to start with any drinks, but before she could even finish asking Chloe and me answered at the exact same time.

"SANGRIA!"

The waitress laughed and told us the specials while she went to get our drinks. This place makes the absolute best sangria. You can only order it by the pitcher.. but we weren't complaining.

"Soooo, what have you been up to these last few weeks missy?!" Chloe asks me all suspiciously.

"Um, you know, not much. I've been working a lot- trying to get as many hours in as I can. That's about it." I replied.

"Do not even lie to me Victoria!!" Chloe is already a loud person, but add some alcohol and they can hear her across the border. "I can see it on your face that you have a man in your life. Or at least had one inside you recently."

"Oh my God Chlo. You have no sensor do you?"

"Nope." Chloe says with the biggest smile on her face. "Now tell me who he is!"

"Ugh, I hate you sometimes."

"Ya ya you love me.. spill it woman!"

"Well, his name is Matthew, and he's Greek."

"Ooooo very nice. So does he have a big dick?"

"Chloe!"

"What?! Since when are you shy about this? Wait- you don't like him do you?!"

"No, I mean I like his body. And his face. And his hands. Oh my God Chloe his hands....And he is such a sweetheart."

"Shit. You like him."

"No, I don't."

"Okay, you keep telling yourself that. I know you better than you know yourself Tor. Just be careful."

I flagged down the waitress and ordered another pitcher of Sangria. If we were going to talk about feelings, I had to be numb.
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13 May 2015

Why I Don't Do Love: David

When I love, I love hard. I mean, I am Italian after all. And if there's one thing us Italian's are know for- it's how crazy and passionate we are. But when our hearts get broken- it hurts like hell.

When I was 19, in my second year of college, me and the girls decided to take a vacation during our mid-semester break. Being the end of October, and slightly chilly we decided to go to the only place that made sense to our student bank accounts- CUBA! Varadero is super affordable, and although the food isn't the greatest, it has a huge party scene- and that's all we cared about.

Our first day on the resort, we met a group of guys that were also from Toronto. They had arrived a few days before, and promised to show us a good time. Dave and I were immediately drawn to each other, and we ended up being inseparable for the entire trip. He left for Toronto two days before us, so we exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch. As soon as we touched down in Toronto I turned my phone off of Airplane Mode and found the sweetest text message waiting for me.

"Good morning my Italian princess.. I hope you have a safe flight, and I can't wait to see you when you get home."

Okay, so maybe it wasn't Hallmark worthy, but he had me smiling like a fool and that's when I started to fall.

Dave and I were together for almost two years when I started to notice some strange behaviour. He didn't want to go out anymore, so we always spent our time in his basement. He started smoking {not cigarettes} more frequently, and drinking heavily. Every time I showed up at his house, he was either already drunk or stoned to the point where he would pass out shortly after we "made love".

One day in particular, I noticed he posted a picture of a little girl sitting on his lap. She was a beautiful little girl, so I sent him a quick text asking who she was.

"Me."

"Oh, I didn't know you were born a female."

"No LOL, it's my daughter." 

I froze. I'm pretty sure I blacked out for a bit. I didn't even know how to answer this text. Dave and I had been together for almost two years and he had never once mentioned having a child. So, I did the only thing my brain could comprehend and I responded with the first thing that popped in my head.

"She's adorable."

After that, I felt us drifting apart {mostly on my part}. We saw less and less of each other, and the trust in our relationship was completely gone. I loved him, and I know he loved me. That was never an issue with us. We had the kind of relationship that I thought only existed in movies- the heated passion that I couldn't live without. The feeling of his body on mine could fix everything. Except this.

I never confronted Dave about her, and he never brought her up again. Well, until Christmas that is. Dave and I weren't together anymore, but we still remained friendly and talked once in a while. I sent him a quick text the day before Christmas Eve.

"Merry Christmas to you and your daughter!"


"Don't you mean 'daughters'...I told you I had 2 right?"


My heart sank and my stomach was making it's way up into my throat. The man that I loved so hard had kept the biggest piece of his life a secret from me. That's when I decided I needed him out of my life. I never responded to that text, and I promised myself I would never let another man make me feel that way again.
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06 May 2015

Vodka. Samba. Trouble.

Mister Tinder, aka Matt, made last night one of the best nights ever.. pizza, vodka, sex. Basically my favourite things in life. He text me early Friday afternoon asking what I was craving. I thought saying "you" was a little too forward so I went with my second choice-
"pizza..duh".

"Perfect. I made reservations for 8 at Pizzeria Libretto, pick you up at 7?"  

Um drool! That is literally my favourite pizza place in the city... extra bonus points for Matt. Now, I don't ever let dates / potential weirdos pick me up because I have an underlying fear of being murdered in an alley, {thanks, Criminal Minds} so I made up some excuse about working late and told Matt I would meet him there.

I showed up right on time {yay, me} mostly because I hate when people are late, and also because I was craving that damn pizza all day long. I walked in and Matt is already there, waiting at the bar, looking like pure heaven. I seriously need to meet this guy's parents and thank them for creating such a beautiful human. Matt and I had an amazing dinner. He's super easy going and talking to him felt like I was out with an old friend.

After dinner, he suggested we walk to a bar not too far away. I don't think I have ever said no to a bar, so obviously I agreed. Plus, Toronto is having some amazing weather lately {hello, Summer} so it was nice to actually be able to walk somewhere without freezing to death. It was barely 10 o'clock and downtown was crazy with people. We stopped outside of a Latin club and Matt asked if I wanted to go in. I was already slightly buzzed so I jumped at the opportunity to drink and dance.

"What can I get you?" Matt asked, as we walked in.

"Vodka 7 please."

I have NEVER met a man that could Salsa and Samba the way Matt was. All eyes were on him that night- and I know I was not the only one in there undressing him with my eyes. With any luck I'd actually be undressing him later.

"You are driving me crazy." He whispered in my ear. We were dancing so close that I didn't even know where my body ended and his began. I leaned my head back so I could look at him in the face and that's when it happened. He wrapped his hands under my butt, picked me up and kissed me. Hard. Harder than I have ever been kissed in my life. So hard that it left me gasping for air when he finally put me down.

"Woah." I gasped, feeling a little light headed. I was already 4 drinks in, but that was definitely from the kiss.

"I want you to come back to my place. I need you. Now." He didn't even wait for my response. Matt grabbed me by the hand and pushed his way through the packed club.

"Oh, okay." I said- not that I was gonna argue. I was waiting for this moment all night long.

The twenty minute car ride was pure torture. Matt kept one hand up my skirt the entire ride- and by the time we got to his place I was more than ready for him. It took all of my self control not to jump him in the elevator. Not that I'm opposed to elevator sex, but there were other people in there and I am a lady after all.

We burst into his condo like there's a fire in the hallway, clothes and limbs flying all over, and I'm dying for him to be inside me. He throws me on the bed and tells me to finish undressing while he searches for a condom {responsible Tori moment}. When Matt comes back into the room he's shirtless with his jeans hanging low on his hips and his body language has changed completely. The crazy rush from before settled and he's looking at me with the deepest passion in his eyes. My breathing speeds up uncontrollably, but I can't look away. Without a word, and without breaking eye contact he steps out of his pants and moves on top of me.

To say that sex with Matt was amazing is an understatement. I wanted nothing more than to stay with him all night and continue discovering each other's bodies but I knew I had to get home before my crazy mother sent out the search parties. Matt drove me home, after stopping for post sex pizza, {of course} and we made plans to see each other again on Sunday. I don't know what it is about Matt, but I just couldn't say no.
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04 May 2015

On The Tinder

"VICTORIA ISABELLA COMMISSO!!!" Uh oh. I stopped dead in my tracks hoping that was my imagination. My mother has not yelled my full name like that since I was 12. {She likes to call me Vicky.} What the hell did I do now? 

"Yea, ma." I stumble into the kitchen. It's 3am and I'm more than half drunk.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! I'VE BEEN CALLING AND TEXTING YOU FOR THE LAST 6 HOURS! NOT EVEN JENNIFER ANSWERED ME!!"  Oops.

"We went to the bar. My phone died and Jenn left hers at home. You now how hopeless we are sometimes." I just lied to my mother. I'm going to hell. 

Note To Self: Thank Jenn for not ratting me out.

"Well, you girls need to start being more responsible. You ARE 25 years old." Thanks for the reminder mom. "Be quiet on the way up, your father is sleeping." Oh, okay, cool, I'm dismissed. 

Second Note To Self: Move out ASAP. 

I totally just spent the night with this guy I met on Tinder. And before you judge me- I know Tinder right? I have never been the type of girl to randomly hook up with guys and I mean NEVER but what can I say, life changes you. I have horrible luck when it comes to men and relationships- but more on that later. These days I would rather swipe my way to a good lay and lose the guy before feelings get involved. Who has time to worry about if he's gonna call you or love you or marry you? Not this girl!! {at least not yet!}

Sophia is so against Tinder. It's actually kind of funny when she starts going on her rants about meeting up with random guys. Deep down I think she's just jealous that we all get to have fun meeting new people while she's stuck with the same old boring scheduled sex. I always tease her about that, but I know deep down she's totally in love and super happy, so I can't help but be happy for her too!

Anyways, I met this guy named Matt and he seriously looks a Greek god. He's six feet and five inches of pure muscle- and his jawline is INSANE- I swear it's so chiseled he could probably cut glass with it. Plus he has the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen in my life! Okay, so maybe I'm super infatuated with the way he looks, but it is Tinder after all. We've been talking for almost 2 weeks and in Tinderland- that's a long time. He wanted to take me on a date Friday night, {insert scared emoji face} a real date. I mean, I obviously said yes- mainly because he's really good looking and Jenn threatened my life, but also because he seems like a pretty cool guy.

"If you don't date him, I will!" Jenn yelled at me after showing her his godly pictures.


"Um, last time I checked he matched with me at not you." I grabbed my phone and stuck my tongue out at her.


"Whatever.. he's a smoke show. Look at him with those cheese grating abs." Gotta love Jenn's descriptions of the male body.  

"I'm going Friday night. PS I need you to cover for me if mi madre calls you." I look at Jenn's face and I almost fell off the bed. It's a mixture of satisfaction and total fear. 

"Ya, whatever. Just be careful." Jenn always has the same shpeal for when I meet a new man. "And for the love of God- use a damn condom."
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01 May 2015

My Best Girls

"He obviously likes you, and he thinks you're pretty!"

"Ya, I'm pretty sure he just wants to get laid." I tried not to sound too bored with the conversation as I explained the dynamics of my love life to Sophia for the tenth time this week.

Sophia has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. We're so alike in so many ways it's scary. We're both taller than most men {boys} our age. We both have dark long naturally curly hair {thanks to our Italian heritage}. We have all of the same interests when it comes to makeup and our love of baking, even our musical tastes and fashion sense are the same. But that is where our similarities end. Sophia has the ideal supermodel body type with small perfect curves and well I don't. Oh- and did I mention she's engaged?

I've always been chubby. I can remember when I was a little girl and people would always tell me "When you get older you'll be thinner." or "It's just baby fat!" Well, I am now a 25 year old adult woman and guess what? I'm still chubby. But to be very honest with you- it does not bother me one bit- I love everything about my body. ESPECIALLY my curves.

"Come on Tor! He said you have a very pretty face and he loves your nice plump lips. I think he's a keeper."

Sophia has made it her life goal to find me a man. Her heart is always in the right place, but her head is totally up in the clouds. Not only has she been out of the dating game since high school, she also has a line up of men hoping and praying that she will leave her man for them.

"Soph shut up! You sound so dumb sometimes." Chloe walks in the room and plops herself down on the foot of my bed.

Chloe is the badass in our group. She has the milkiest white skin, which is now covered in inked artwork, the darkest black hair and is definitely not afraid to put anyone in their place- or at least the place she thinks they deserve to be in. She's perpetually angry, but in the sweetest way possible. I don't think she has ever "worked" a day in her life. I mean, she obviously had a retail job in high school, but we all know that's not real work. Her mom is pretty much the CEO of her company so what Chloe wants, Chloe gets. Don't get me wrong though, I love this spoiled little rich girl with all of my heart {at least what's left of it}.

"She's just trying to help!!" Jenn finally looks up from her phone and puts her two cents in. Of course she's defending Sophia, again.

Where do I begin with Jennifer. We became friends in high school and have been inseparable ever since. Well, except for when she went through her "phase", but more on that later. Skipping class- we did it together. Man hunting- we still do it together. She's always been such an outgoing girl, and literally everyone loves her. I was always kind of jealous of her for that- but she doesn't know that so shush! Jenn also has the biggest heart out of all of us. She will do anything and everything to make someone happy.

"Ten years ago that was an innocent compliment. Today, that's an invitation for sex." I say.

"Why are you guys always so negative?!!" Sophia whips my phone across the room and literally missed my head by an inch.

"Way to be dramatic Soph!" I yell as she storms down the stairs. I already know I'll find her with her head in my fridge so I take our time following after her.

"I do not understand how you're still so skinny when all you do is eat. By the way that pizza was for Daniel."

Sophia looks up at me with the brightest smile on her face and shrugs. "I have a fast metabolism. Plus you know I'm an emotional eater. You shouldn't make me angry if you don't want me to eat all of your brother's food."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't concern yourself with my love life." I grab a bottle of our favorite wine and pour four glasses.

She sighs and gulps down the whole glass. "I just want you to find that special someone and settle down. After everything you've been through, you deserve a happy ending more than anyone I know."

"Don't worry about me baby girl. I'll be fine."

The truth is, I'm not so sure.

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